'the freedom of self-forgetfulness'

So our time here in Istanbul has come to an end. I will be sad to wave good bye to this beautiful but crazy city. The last 10 days have flown by as we have found ourselves in a whirlwind of activity making shows out on the street with the group here. It's been a week of mixed feelings though. On one hand it is an incredible experience being able to travel like this, we have met some truly wonderful people and seen amasing things. But every so often I find myself asking why? What is this all about? Is what we are doing worth while ? Does it really change anything? Or are we just a couple of bums trekking about with seriously bad shoes? 

I guess everyone asks these kinds of questions about their lives from time to time. Sometimes there is so much pressure to 'arrive.' that the journey of searching and learning seems like a lame excuse for not having a clue.

I just finished reading a little book called 'the freedom of self-forgetfulness' by Tim Keller. He talks about the image the apostle paul had of himself. How he didn't trust even his own judgements about himself, let alone the judgements of others (although I think it's our own judgements that are most often the most critical) He only had ears for what God would say about him. He didn't need to puff up his own ego with good works or feel the crushing pain of the criticism of others. He only listened to the unchanging words of the father 'my son, in whom I am well pleased.'

So i am learning to think less about what I think about myself, and what I think others think about me. And think only on what my Father thinks. 

Maybe I am a 'bum' on a crazy journey lost in a sea of unanswered questions, but I am a loved 'bum' and that's all that counts... And He knows the plans he has for us for good and not for disaster. 

So tonight we head south to Gaziantep on the Siran border. We are visiting a friend there and her church. Not sue exactly what's in store for us but lots more shows, visiting some schools and possibly a refuge camp. Just got to sit on a bus for 15 hours to get there!

Istanbul!

We have arrived in Istambul! It was a very long journey hitching from Pula and icreadibly slow. We waited almost 20hours for a ride in one place. The highlight of the journey was walking through the boarder from Serbia into Bulgaria we lined up with a que of cars standing with our suitcases and rucksacks, we looked quite a sight. We made if as far as Sofia by hitching but need for speed (and the longing for a bed and shower) ment we decided to catchable bus for the last part of the journey. When we had made it into Istanbul at 2:30am we hadn't realised quite how big the city was and it took us another 2 hours to make our way over to the asian side and find the street where we were staying. I say street because it took us another 4hours after that to find the right flat!

We have been here now in this crazy but beautiful city for a couple of days now. And I am really enjoying experiencing Turkish culture from chi, sheesha, fresh mussels, crazy syrup pastes and amasing kababs!
To top it off we got the opportunity to go and see 'Aligria' from cirque du le at the theatre. It was the most amasing circus show I have ever seen, it completely blew me away.

Today we made our first show with the creative arts group we are staying with here. We performed at a local .street arts festival with our circus stuff there was also a couple of dancers, an increadible unicyclist and some great musicians too.  It was great to work with so many increasibly talented people who use their gifts to share the love of God with people. Tomorrow we meet again to rehearse and hopefully head out on the street again in the evening. I am really looking forward to this next week to see what happens. And to see how God guides and uses us.

Beds! Beds! Beds!

So after a very long hitch hike from south France we arrived in pula in Croatia on thursday afternoon. It was quite an eventful journey with lots of unlikely sleeping places. One night we slept in a very full vw camper van with a guy who gave us a lift. The next was in the back of a truck parked so close to the motorway it shook every time a truck went past. We maneged to get within 50km of pula by Wednesday night but got stuck in a small town on small roads in the rain so we resorted to finding some shelter on the streets and resumed our journey in the morning. It took us most of the day to make the last few km but we made it. We have spent 3 nights here (and they have been the most increadible nights in soft warm beds.) and have had a really amasing time spending time with the church here that I visited in August. Yesterday we spent the afternoon at the beach remarkably for the first time on our journey. We were joined by some of young people here who then came back and made dinner for us! In the evening we made a show out in the city. But about an hour before I felt so strongly that we should not ask for money but instead share about the love of God with people. Maybe 30 people stayed to watch our show and listened to me speak about knowing who we really are and what we were made for. We spent time afterwards talking with people who had questions. It made me think this is what it's all about! Amazingly too the guys at the church here blessed us with some money for our trip, so God provided for us in his way. Today we wave goodbye to the guys here and make the last stage of our trip to Istanbul. It's the longest hitch hike either of us have ever done and through Serbia, Bulgaria and turkey too. So it will be vey different from travelling in the west. But God is with us so we are excited to see how he will provide this time. So untill Istanbul....

Grapes and Figs...

So we have stopped for a couple of days in a small village called rokerbruk (spelt wrong) in the south of France up in the mountains. We came here looking for work but as there isn't any at the moment we have a welcome few days off. So time to rest and pray, to rehearse and to catch up on my blog.
After we left Karlsruhe it took us 3 days to arrive in Montpellier a crazy city in the south of France full of travellers and people living on the streets. Many of the guys just sleep in the park in the middle of the city but Patrick knew a place by a swimming lake a bit further out so we set up our tent there and enjoyed the being it's of a warm lake to swim in, fresh grapes from the vines and fresh figs too!
We stayed in Montpellier for 4 nights heading into the city each day to make some shows on the streets with mixed success. Speaking no French at all really doesn't help when trying to gather a crowd and we are learning more and more that our show needs to be more theatrical and interactive. So lots of lessons learnt and sometimes the hard way. We made some great people though and had a great time chatting with 2 polish guys who are as I write making a 800km walk to Santiago carrying with them a book of prayers and whishes they collected from people on the way. We left Montpellier on Sunday and headed west along the coast the a small village called Fitou (spelt right). Patrick had worked at a small organic vineyard there 2 years ago and they had a couple of days work for us. It is hard work and not great for your back being bent over for hours picking grapes that are only a few feet off the ground but the views were amasing and the grapes delicious! I think I have eaten more grapes (and figs) in the last few weeks then I have in my entire life!
So that brings us back to here. We are camped along the side of the river with a group from Bellarus who are also looking for work. Among many others. Infancy there is a whole community camped by the river at this time of year all for the grapes. But our journey continues east now. We will stay here for a day or two to catch some rest and practice and then we make our long way east to istanbul. All 2600km! To be honest im a little neevous about it but  life's an adventure hey. So until I find wifi again...

One moment at a time...

So we made to karlsruhe after a very long hitchhike and an overnight stay at a gas station near Frankfurt. When we woke up in the morning we discovered we had camped right next to what looked like the unofficial truckers toilet. But we made it. We have been here now since Thursday and have been staying with a friend of mine who lives just around the corner from a Christian community house called the 'schluse.' We have had a great time here hanging out with friends and practicing. We made our first busking show together on friday night which was probably the worst show we had made together all summer. But we had some good friends who watched and cheered for us. On Saturday after some rehearsing we made the show again but at a late night coffee night our friends from the community were hosting. It was a great night, we spilled out onto the street from the porch with sofas and carpet and invited people for free (and very good) coffee. We made the show at about 1am in the middle of the street (which was only problematic when cars wanted to drive past.) but the show was so much better and we had a really great and lively crowd.
Tomorrow we wave goodbye to our friends here and hit the road again for south France. It's scary to think that we have no idea where we'll be sleeping and even in wich cities for the next month. We are going to look for some grape picking work but failing that we will be making lots of shows to earn our keep. I was saying to a good friend of mine today how this has been a dream of mine for so many years and now that its starting to happen its like eveything is being challenged. But I know that God has a plan for us in france and for the rest of this journey. Exactly What that plan is I have know idea.. But I'm learning to trust hm one day and one moment at a time...

Back on the road...

...So its been a while.

The last couple of months have been so full in every way that it has been hard to make space in my mind and time in the day to write. But after many, many lectures, a week in Croatia working with a church and hanging out with punks, then coming back to help run a music and arts festival, the school (and the crazy busy summer) is finally over. It has been an amazing time, a time of change and a time for direction... But now its time for the next stage of my Journey.

After a 2 day hitch-hike back and forth from Padderbourn to take my sister to the airport (well closer to the airport at least) I returned to quiet Krogis for a few days of rest and to slowly pack my things and get ready to hit the road again.

My friend patrick arrived back from Poland today and tomorrow we hitch-hike south together for a 2month tour through South France and then on to Turkey. We have been making fire shows together throughout the summer and have decided to spend some time together living off the street and making shows. Then in October we head to Turkey to tour with a Christian street theatre group for a few weeks.

For me this is far more then just travelling. Its about following after the call of God, Seeking him and adventuring with him. He has called me on a wild adventure, but it's not for the sake of adventure its about knowing him. It seems like a life time ago that i set off from Calne in England on my tricycle, I had know idea what i was letting myself in for when i started out on those first few miles, but God has been so faithful and has provided for me at every stage...

So i look forward to the adventures that lie ahead...  

Fires in the Dark...

Three weeks have rushed by since i arrived in Krogis, Germany. It seems like an age ago that walked through the gates after 24 hours of hitch-hiking with a rucksack full of art stuff, my suit case and my portfolio case. (i think my arms grew a few centimetres on that trip.) Living at an international Christian Missions centre is defiantly eventful. I arrived to discover i was the only English student at the base so i am surrounded by Brazilians, Ukrainians, Americans, Polish and the Occasional German. The people here are amazing though and i am loving being surrounded by so many different cultures.
The last 3 weeks have been intense but really incredible, i am learning so much everyday. Every friday we have a day alone just to find space to pray and seek God. So i have found myself going for very long walks exploring the beautiful countryside talking and listening to God - Amazing. Its a breath of fresh air in such a busy timetable.
There is so much to do living in such a large community and the buildings need a lot of work too. Cooking and cleaning up after a meal for 70 people is quite some task! I have found myself doing lots of painting and now i am working on preparing an art studio which i hope to finnish next week.

For me though the last few days have been the the most exiting of all. Every saturday we will be going into dresden which is our closest city to share with people about the love of God and invite people to a festival we are running in August. I am now leading a group of musicians, actors and circus people in preparing a piece of street theatre to perform in the city. The group are incredible, and i am really excited to see what will come out of it.

So this saturday was our first visit into Dresden. after lots of complications with trains will finally arrived at about 7pm. We spent most of the evening walking around the new city where there are lots of bars and cafes and quite a big punk scene. It was quite overwhelming and i suddenly felt very small, we just walked and prayed: "God, would you do something here this summer?" Our plan was to meet at 10pm outside the train station to do a fire show there but after discovering a park packed full of young people we decided this was a better spot. so we walked all the way back to the centre of the park to make the show. The show was just me spinning the fire staff and one girl who spat fire. So we made a half circle and then started to make a loud noise hoping the people would take notice. the drums started and i lit the staff and started to dance. i had planned to speak after the performance and my heart was pumping with fear and excitement. after i finished i was to scared to speak so i lit up again and danced some more. I shouted for people to come closer and danced away. When i stopped for the second time i shouted out "let me tell you about the man that changed my life" my heart pounding i shouted at the top of my voice to the people around us telling them how much God loved them. So people listened, some ignored and some shout back abuse. When i finished i invited people to come and speak to us if they wanted to know Jesus. None came but we went around handing out flyers anyway for the festival and promised people we would be back next week with more fire. It was a crazy night. I don't understand what God was doing, all i could do was speak the truth and let him do the rest.

So that was the first Chapter, We'll be back next week and who knows what will happen. I do know that God is good and the message of the cross is to important not to speak about it.